memories you are not aware ofyou will remember me: the girl whose name you would have forgotten if it weren’t for the fact that you had it written somewhere, the girl whom you had only embraced once and even then just to say good-bye, the girl who wrote you a poem which you read now and thenmemories you are not aware of
hoping to understand it and find the secret meaning which did not exist, the girl whose hand you never took, the girl who only dreamed of you.
you’ll remember I heard your heart beat.
learning what heartaches areAt first I didn’t believe in heartaches.learning what heartaches are
I used to think I lacked a heart, a soul or whatever other thing one was supposed to feel with. most of the times there was nothing …emptiness filling a void. yet there were moments when I felt anger rage I was annoyed, I was furious, exasperated. everything felt maddening, infuriating. but I never got to lose it.
Then you made me think heartaches could be good, or at least constructive.
in the depths of despair I felt alive, I felt complet
our sleeping patterns collide.i wake up tired. i wake up tired and it's afternoon again.our sleeping patterns collide.
i wake up tired and i am alone.
it's like every night i fall asleep with you on my mind. and i quickly sort through my thoughts leaving the prettiest ones on top so i can try them on in the morning. so everyday, i wake up and try on being in love with you. except every morning, it's three inches too big or a centimeter and a half too small or it's brushing my kneecaps like it's too long. but i wear it anyways, since i'm used to being a shade left of ordinary or two steps past crazy. i'm used to wearing love and i'm used to you.
i'm used to fallin
maybe i'm always wrong.try.maybe i'm always wrong.
try to believe that our skin will touch and that our words will retreat into our mouths simply since there will be nothing left to say because maybe we'll just know what the other is thinking. and i'll try to pretend that i'm not sleeping with what-if's and what-the-hell-am-i-doing's tucked under my pillow and stained on my tongue. i'll let go of my every other second doubts if you could let your fingers find mine. you could make the nights a little warmer if the distance between our heartbeats was a lot closer.
try. try to believe that our veins will intertwine and i will attempt to inhale all your exhales so i
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You cannot find peace by avoiding life.
xo!
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an antique arms and armor expert
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He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you...
F. Nietzsche
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Better to reign in hell than serve in heav'n.
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'Time / drunk and damp, / everything burning, / everything wet, / everything fine.' (Charles Bukowski)
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[link].music.
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sIradan bir kac cumle [link]
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